There are parents who attribute everything bad to their children. They don’t even know what happened and are already imagining the worst. If a noise sounds, they already think the child did some damage or if they call the teacher. They already imagine that it is to complain. If you want to build a relationship based on trust, it is very important that you make it a priority to first listen to him and understand very well what happened. Then, if you can go in and correct it or put some kind of consequence on it. Remember what I taught you in error number 3 of the questions sometimes. What I recommend is that before you rush to judgment or punishment,
more often than parents do before they make the mistake
more often than parents do before they make the mistake. The only people who know what’s really going on in a family are the people directlyTeachers, neighbors, grandparents or friends may have an opinion and it may be aBut who knows your children best is you. And besides, you have the right to have your own philosophy of education with your children. Of course, you can take into account the guidance and advice of others, but the final decision is yours. It is you who knows what is best for your children and your family. When you make decisions based on what they will say, you are running the risk of being wrong because you don’t you are making those decisions based on the real needs of your children and your family. Other people can and do have a say, but they are doing so from their experience, from their fears, or their beliefs that don’t necessarily have to serve yourSo feel free to take what you can get from others. But also try with all the tranquility of not taking into account that which you feel does not work for you.
What you tell your children is very important
What you tell your children is very important, but even more important is how you tell them. Many times parents are right to be upset with their children or have a good message and aBut how they are told prevents children from reflecting on and taking thatIf, for example, when your child has made a mistake, you teach him or her that lesson in a bad way, what you are to do is to divert your child’s attention. Your child’s attention will no longer be on his or her own behavior or on reflecting on what did wrong and will spend his attention on how bad and unfair he thinks you are, because of how rude how disrespectful you were to teach him that lesson. But when you change to teach, the student must be willing to learn. And the teacher must be willing to teach. So always wait until all parties are calm.
Build a healthy, loving relationship with your children
In a healthy family relationship, the priority is that all family members are in good health, that everyone when a mother or father focuses solely on their authority and asserting their power, they may be forgetting something very important and that is building a healthy and loving relationship with your children.
Even sometimes going over their children themselves and their family. Many times we continue with a rule in the house or an Adams order and that order may no longer make sense, no longer make sense, but we continue it only by not giving our arm to twist. Remember that the boundaries must be clear, but they must also be consistent. And sometimes there are limits that are already obsolete, that no longer work or that no longer do us any good, but there continue to have only because we have the power and because we have the authority. The first thing I do when the parents arrive at my office and I notice that they have entered a power struggle with their children, this one tells them to choose their battles.
I can’t make it a whole battle because then life will become unliveable and all the time you’ll be to be with your children fighting for that power.I would love for you to realize that giving in does not make you weak in the eyes of your children. On the contrary, from time to time, when we give in what we are doing is building a relationship much more loving, much more respectful, and we are teaching our children flexibility by means of example to set rules and boundaries in your home. You can’t just set rules and limits, because that’s when they don’t make sense to the kids you must also keep in mind that those limits that are non-negotiable must be only those necessary if you make a whole limit, then you will spend your life as a policeman behind your children, looking and there are so many, so many, so many of them that your children will have to jump. When parents ask me what those limits are that they should have, I usually teach them that for me there should be three: safety, honesty, and respect. Everything that has to do with these three aspects is limited that we do not negotiate and that for no reason we are going to let the children cross over. But if it doesn’t involve any of these three.
For example, the choice of clothes, they are missing neither safety nor honesty, or respect, because we can give in and we can negotiate with the children. Thus, they become much more autonomous and much more responsible for their lives and begin to develop this skill that is very important to them and is the ability to make decisions and to assume I would love for you to take some time to reflect on yourself. Think about whether you are prioritizing having power or whether you are prioritizing love, respect, and communication this will be a great foundation for building a good relationship.