children according to our experiences

children according to our experiences as adults and not according to their needs as children. Every age is unique, every child is a world and the stages of life are changing. So you cannot raise your children according to what served or did not serve you as a child, according to what worked or didn’t work for your parents in educating you and you should focus on the needs even sometimes the ways of educating between siblings or at different stages of life are different

It is very important that you get to know your child well so that you know exactly what works For that you must make communication one of the fundamental pillars in your relationship. Ask him a lot so you know what he likes, what he doesn’t like. What are his criteria and what are his needs? This way you will base your education on what he really needs to learn and not on the experiences other things I advise you is to find out very well what is happening today. The fashions, the trends, the tastes of your friends, what young people are doing. It’s no good thinking about what you would have done in your time or what would have been useful for you in that time. Because the times are changing and what young people or children live today is very different

What your child wants most is to be loved by you and accepted by you.

There are some parents who expect too much from their children, want them to be at the top of the class orbegin to develop a series of behaviors to conform to those expectations.What a child wants most is to be loved and therefore will always want to fit into what youI will tell you in this video what two behaviors I have noticed in children when theirThe deluded character is a fictitious personality that begins to develop your child unconsciously,in order to like you, as I was saying.

What your child wants most is to be loved by you and to be accepted by you. Therefore, he will adapt his personality to please you. He may not like math, but he will become the best at math. Or he may not like tennis, but I want to be the best at tennis just to like you. In this case, you are not supporting or promoting the development of his true personality. Nor are you allowing him to develop his own tastes and talents. What you are doing is teaching him that you will only like him when he fits within those very high standards.

You must adapt to your child’s abilities and tastes

Many people reach adulthood and realize that they have to reinvent themselves or what they have made all their lives they don’t like it anymore. In my opinion, in many cases, you can see the character cheated all his life. They took it upon themselves to enter into the expectations of others or to please others. And when they are adults they realize that what they are doing is not what they wanted so much and they want to go back another behavior I notice in children is the impostor syndrome. To this, I will add something and that is when we praise children in an exaggerated way. As a result of this praise, your child becomes confused and begins to feel that he or she is cheating on you.

He evaluates himself and realizes that all that you are telling him is not true and therefore you begin to believe as if you were an impostor. This generates a lot of insecurity because he doesn’t want to disappoint his parents. When they realize that he is not really as good as they say. The first thing that children with impostor syndrome do is give up in the face of any challenge. Their parents come to my office very worried because they think their children are letting themselves down before their time.

A child prefers not to try and therefore give up rather than try and show their parent’s that advice if you felt identified with this mistake, is to review the expectations they haveIdeally, you should adapt to your child’s abilities and tastes, not your child’sI also recommend that you do not overdo it. Praise him with punctual and realistic facts instead of telling him you are the best in soccer, you can tell him who ran very fast today or who made very good passes. There are things that he can check and realize are true.

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